Distance Between Memories
by Lidsworth
Summary: Kaneki finally confronts Hide upon the discovery that he is working with the CCG. Too bad the other pissed off ghouls made it to Hide first. They expect Kaneki to finish the blond off. But even for his own survival and that of his kind, can he really kill his best friend in cold blood?


Summary: Kaneki confronts Hide upon the discovery that he is working with the CCG. Too bad the other pissed off ghouls made it to Hide first. They expect Kaneki to finish the blond off. But even for his own survival and that of his kind, can he really kill his best friend?

A/N: This contains a MAJOR SPOILER! If you haven't kept up with the manga, and you don't want to read this, that's fine. But it contains major spoilers. I think Kaneki always has to make hard choices, so this is my take on one of them.

Btw, a few songs inspired this. "Home" by Daughtry, "Distance" by Long Shot Party, and "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton ( I think)?

Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Ghoul.

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They left him barely alive. His ankles had been tied to the wooden legs of the chair. Tiny splinters dug into the flesh of his legs, thus irritating the raw, open wounds. His arms were tied behind the back of the chair, their angle painful and twisted. The thick rope tore into his welted wrist, and the blond bit forcefully on his lip in order to redirect the pulsating pain in his body to another, more smaller part of his body. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

He was hurting, he was hurting badly. But the physical pain melted away like ice cream on a hot summers day, compared to the emotional pain that seemed to erupt like a fiery volcano.

When the white haired ghoul walked slowly into the metal room, he seemed to bare the weight of the entire world on his shoulders.

And now here he was, standing before Hide, tossing the weight on the battered human.

He didn't really have to look up to know it was his childhood friend standing in front of him. No, he just had to _feel _it, because as of recent, that's how he and Kaneki came to discover each other more.

By feelings of emotional distress.

They never spoke to each other anymore, they never really hung out like "normal" kids anymore. But Hide supposed that wasn't so bad. They were anything but normal, weren't they?

"They want me to...kill you." The whisper broke the comfortable silence, like a hot needle to a rubber balloon. Kaneki spoke with the fear of a small child. His distant voice betrayed his menacing nature, though his clenched fist, shaking with some sort of emotion, spoke some truth as to what was going on inside of his head.

"You...look a lot older," Hide winced as a broken rib tore into his collapsed lung with each shuddered breath he breathed, "D-did you do s-something to your h-hair?"

Though his eyes was swollen and purple, through his obscured vision, he could see a small smile crawling onto the ghoul's face, however, it died a way seconds after it bloomed, and again, Kaneki bore down upon Hide.

"This isn't a time to be making jokes, Hide," spat Kaneki, tired of his friend's growing tendency to ignore the foreboding situation, "I'm supposed to _protect _the people I _love _Hide! What the hell am I supposed to do when one of them is trying to kill my friends!?"

His voice shook with thunder. His fingernails dug into the flesh of his skin as he snarled at the man below him. Toes curled into his shoes, anchoring him, keeping him from pouncing on Hide.

His protective, insane side screamed "Enemy!" Yet his heart bellowed "Friend, brother!"

Kaneki was losing control. His rage was spilling over, and Hide's cheap attempt at sarcasm nearly sent him over the edge.

"I knew-" Hide coughed up a bit of blood before he could finish his sentence, and the small action sent him into a fit of coughs and wheezes. The pain was unbearable to the point of pure numbness. He was losing the feeling in his body.

"H-Hide!" Despite their current predicament, Kaneki was worried about his the blond, and the terrible state that he had been rendered to. In seconds, he was closer to his friend than ever, his pale hands on Hide's shoulder's as he attempted to steady the blond.

"Damn it, Hide! Why did you have to betray me! Why the hell did you lead the Doves-"

"I k-knew you w-were a ghoul all along, I j-joined to keep an eye on you..." he was losing a lot of blood and his lungs were full of fluid. If he wanted to save Kaneki, he needed to hurry things up.

"I-I came to tell you that..." He sucked in all the air he could, and the sensation was so painful that it felt like tiny knives were stabbing at his insides, but he continued on, "They're coming h-here, Kaneki. S-soon, in a w-weeks tops. Y-you have to l-leave..."

Kaneki looked taken aback, and with trembling hands, he secured the sides of Hide's head and lifted it up. Both friends looked each other in the eye, though there was a little more effort on Hide's part.

"Are you telling the truth?" Whispered the white haired ghoul, "Are they really coming here?"  
With his last bits of strength, Hide nodded.

"Why are you even helping me?" Kaneki shook Hide's drooping head, "I'm a ghoul, you're technically a 'Dove' now! Won't you get in trouble for helping me?"

There was a small pause, and than the dreadful sound of Hide's ragged breathing.

However, he forced himself to speak just one last time.

"...friend...you're...my...friend.." Any doubt or disbelief harbored by Kaneki for Hide disappeared at that very moment.

Kaneki released the blond's head in a state of surprise. The limp head dangled on the body like a tattered rag doll. The ghoul looked at his injured friend in horror. Reality finally hit him. Hide was bleeding everywhere. He was bruised and beat up!

"W-we have to get you out of here Hide! If the Doves find you, they'll punish you? Right?"_I'll just have to kill them, _Kaneki told himself as he went through the different scenarios in his head, "I'll tell the others that you were trying to help. Sure, we'll have to get a you away from the Doves, but we've been evading them anyway. Though Touka-chan may be a little upset because you're human and all, but Nishio Senpai's girlfriend is...Hide...are you listening?"

Kaneki felt his throat dry just a little at the sight of his eerily still friend.

"You must be uncomfortable with your arms tired back like that...yeah, that's it, let me just untie that," He was nervous, extremely nervous because as a ghoul, he could hear a heartbeat. He could smell warm blood traveling through the tiniest veins of a human body. A ghoul could hear the human body function just as perfectly as a clock maker could hear the gears of his clock tick and turn.

Except, Hide's gears were turning so slow, that Kaneki wasn't even sure if they were working, let alone on.

Once off of the ropes, Hide's body fell to the floor with little to no grace. Kaneki fell to his knees and scooted beside his friend. With trembling fingers, he turned the body to its back.

"He's just sleeping, Hide's just sleeping, " he told himself, as he began to feel around the still body, "R-Right Hide? You're just sleeping! Come on, wake up!"

Silence ensued. Kaneki loomed over the body with a hopeful, yet tearful smile.

"Come on Hide! Stop joking around, we need to get you to the hospital," Kaneki choked out, as he shook his friend by the shoulder, "I know you're pretty strong. A couple of punches wouldn't do something like _this _to you."  
Except Hide wasn't a ghoul, he was a human. Ghoul punches would defiantly do a number on him. _Are humans really this weak?_ Kaneki thought, as he gently rubbed his friend's bruised face, _are they this fragile? _

After a while, the hopeful pleading was replaced with a dreadful sobbing. Tears had soaked the softness of Hide's blond hair, darkening the strands with their heavy dampness.

Kaneki hadn't cried like this in ages. The loss was so intense, and the pain was worse than any torture he'd been through. He cradled Hide's body like a baby girl cradled her favorite toy.

He was certain that he added a few additional bruises to the body due to his strong grip.

Rocking back and forth, he buried his head in the blond mess.

Why on earth would Hide try to contact him like he did? Did he not know how the ghouls felt about Doves? Was he unaware of the tension between the two? His saving act had led to his death.

Kaneki felt useless. He felt like shit. He had been powerless to save the one person that meant the most to him. His own kind took Hide away from him. But they didn't know that Hide wasn't there to kill him. They didn't know that he was betraying the CCG by stepping foot into ghoul territory. They didn't know that the Doves were planning to raid them all over again.

Kaneki had to warn everybody about the Doves. He had to get up, and leave Hide in this cold, grimy godforsaken place so no other ghouls would eat him. _Eat him. _

For the first time in ages, Kaneki felt truly disgusted with himself and his gruesome kind.

Other ghouls would tear the body apart.

"I'm sorry Hide...thank you for warning me, I'm sorry this had to happen to you," he muttered as his grip loosened on the body. His eyes were red with tears, his throat was raw due to his sobbing. He felt so hollow.

"I-I have to let go now, okay?" He spoke more to himself than he did to Hide, "Because that's what you would've wanted me to do."

With tremblings lips, he placed a kiss atop of the cold forehead. He didn't care how gay it made him look, he didn't care that he was a boy kissing another boy. He just cared that his friend was dead, and had to die in this dark, shitty place.

With a final sigh, Kaneki stood up and rubbed his eyes until they were raw and irritated. He didn't have time to cry anymore. Life was moving too fast, and all tears shed throughout the course of life were sure to weigh one down.

Hide wouldn't die in vein. His sacrifice would not be forgotten, Kaneki would make sure of that.

The half-ghoul's steps were heavier as he made to leave. Suddenly, the one world that had fallen on his shoulder so long ago had gained another partner. His life was no longer his own, no, he was now living for Hide and his memory.

With a shaky grip, he opened the wooden door that led out of the basement of their temporary hideout. He cast one more glance over his shoulder.

Time reversed itself before him, and suddenly, a hazy image of he and Hide flashed before his eyes. They were younger, barely even seven. As usual, Kaneki himself looked extremely shy, and for once, Hide looked exceptionally nervous.

The ghoul smiled at the memory. This was when they first became friends.

And as soon as the haze had appeared into Kaneki's vision, it had vanished. Kaneki had once heard that at the time of death, your life flashes before your eyes. He wondered of Hide was allowing him to relive this moment.

Looking back, all that lay before him was the dead body of Hide. It would start to gather flies soon, maybe even decay in a few days.

But Kaneki supposed he didn't care that much anymore. Hide would live in his memories and his actions. And though he was still sad, Kaneki figured that the distance between the two of them wasn't nearly as far as it had been minutes ago.

As long as Kaneki kept on living, than Hide would as well.

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This isn't canon, not even close. Basically, Hide tried to tell Kaneki what the CCG's plans were, the ghouls went beserk on him and left him for Kaneki to interrogate and finish. His wounds were so bad, he died. The end. Seriously, Hide's my favorite character! Why aren't there more stories about him? Anyway, hope you enjoyed this angsty one-shot, i'll be sure to update Helping Hand soon. I'm my own beta (as always), so there may be errors. Please tell me if you catch any. Have a wonderful weekend and God bless!


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